My in-laws are here to visit for a few days. They live in northern California. It is very interesting to me to see my husband interact with them. There are many things that are explained when they are together...so many ways that they are alike. It is fun to see where he gets some of his mannerisms. I understand him better because of this.
It is alsy great to see the kids with their grandparents. We are so blessed to have my mom so close and so active in the kids lives. They know and love her like a third parent. But it is also nice to see them spoiled by other grandparents. They discuss and plan who gets to sit by them and are completely enjoying having them here.
It has also been interesting because we have not eaten at home in almost 48 hours. This is pretty strange for me. I enjoy cooking, I would love to be hospitable to my in-laws, but they insist on going out to eat, and taking us with them. On one hand, I hate to think of all the garbage that my kids have in their systems right now. They love to go to restaurants, so they are having the time of their lives. But I worry about all the unhealthyness of it all. On the other hand, I haven't had to do any dishes in the last two days. No cooking, no cleaning, just enjoying my kids...I love that! It is a spring break for me!
Today we will be going to Walmart to get the kids something. It should be interesting and fun.
I plan on looking at some seed while we are there. The garden is almost ready for planting, and I really need to get some things going. Mainly broccoli and spinach, and maybe some lettuce. I hope to produce a lot more of our food this year. Each year will be a learning experience.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Pain in change
The kids are asleep. But I can't get any. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and I woke up a couple of hours ago, and can't go back to sleep. I am not shocked, just frustrated.
Today I start a week long course on Grantmanship. 4US is paying for me to go so that I can learn to write grants and hopefully help to raise funds to grow 4US into a national organization. I am very excited for the opportunity. I would love to be able to help 4US in a much bigger way than I have, and I know that they skills that I learn could be very useful in many other aspects. I have hopes that it might be helpful in adoption also...if we can ever get there.
My struggle with this come in two ways though, the first the biggest. My family is, and always has been my first priority, and my purpose. It was a very tough decision to leave them for a week to take this class. Mom has them today, then Noelle is going to stay with Beth for 4 days. My heart aches thinking of her sleeping somewhere else for so long. I know that she is in very, very good hands, but I love her so much and want the to be the one to scratch her itchy back.
In addition to my struggles with leaving them to fend for themselves, I had no doubt that they would be sick or something. Sure enough, Rayana has had a fever for the last 3 days, and Noelle felt very warm to me in the night. Josiah says that he doesn't feel well, though he does not seem to have the fever yet. They only thing I hate worse than not being there for my kids, is not being there for them when they are sick. It pains me to leave them.
Second, I feel very inadequate. While I know that I am pretty intelligent, I have a very limited knowledge of business, and have been a stay at home mom for the last 10+ years. I can bake a mean loaf of bread, but can I keep up in a classroom with these people? I have always struggled with confidence, and have not been in a classroom since losing weight. Will it make a difference, or will I still feel like I don't belong. I hate that feeling, it just makes me want to run home to my kids, and to where I am comfortable.
God is definitely stretching me this week. I am moving out of my comfort zone in many ways. I am leaving my family in the care of others, letting God be sufficient for them. I am exploring areas in which I am not very knowledgeable, and may feel dumb...(which I am not very used to). And I will need to work through my weaknesses and practice loving those that I just met. I hope also that I will be articulate and compassionate with the people in this class. My greatest desire would be that I would not only learn the skills that are needed to help raise funds, but that those in this class would come to view our mission, both at 4US and as Christians, in a new way.
JOY - Jesus first, others second, yourself last....I have to keep that in mind this week. This class is for Jesus and for others, my insecurities will have to be faced head on so that God can be given the glory this week.
Time for my alarm to go off, I better get started...
Today I start a week long course on Grantmanship. 4US is paying for me to go so that I can learn to write grants and hopefully help to raise funds to grow 4US into a national organization. I am very excited for the opportunity. I would love to be able to help 4US in a much bigger way than I have, and I know that they skills that I learn could be very useful in many other aspects. I have hopes that it might be helpful in adoption also...if we can ever get there.
My struggle with this come in two ways though, the first the biggest. My family is, and always has been my first priority, and my purpose. It was a very tough decision to leave them for a week to take this class. Mom has them today, then Noelle is going to stay with Beth for 4 days. My heart aches thinking of her sleeping somewhere else for so long. I know that she is in very, very good hands, but I love her so much and want the to be the one to scratch her itchy back.
In addition to my struggles with leaving them to fend for themselves, I had no doubt that they would be sick or something. Sure enough, Rayana has had a fever for the last 3 days, and Noelle felt very warm to me in the night. Josiah says that he doesn't feel well, though he does not seem to have the fever yet. They only thing I hate worse than not being there for my kids, is not being there for them when they are sick. It pains me to leave them.
Second, I feel very inadequate. While I know that I am pretty intelligent, I have a very limited knowledge of business, and have been a stay at home mom for the last 10+ years. I can bake a mean loaf of bread, but can I keep up in a classroom with these people? I have always struggled with confidence, and have not been in a classroom since losing weight. Will it make a difference, or will I still feel like I don't belong. I hate that feeling, it just makes me want to run home to my kids, and to where I am comfortable.
God is definitely stretching me this week. I am moving out of my comfort zone in many ways. I am leaving my family in the care of others, letting God be sufficient for them. I am exploring areas in which I am not very knowledgeable, and may feel dumb...(which I am not very used to). And I will need to work through my weaknesses and practice loving those that I just met. I hope also that I will be articulate and compassionate with the people in this class. My greatest desire would be that I would not only learn the skills that are needed to help raise funds, but that those in this class would come to view our mission, both at 4US and as Christians, in a new way.
JOY - Jesus first, others second, yourself last....I have to keep that in mind this week. This class is for Jesus and for others, my insecurities will have to be faced head on so that God can be given the glory this week.
Time for my alarm to go off, I better get started...
Friday, March 20, 2009
Ministry
I have been thinking a lot about your purpose as a family. I know a big part of our purpose is to raise our kids to know and love God with all their hearts and to be "in the world and not of the world". That is our formost goal and passion. We also want to impact the larger world for the glory of God. We care specifically and focus our attention on Haiti, as God has given us all a passion for that small country.
But these days, especially as it is baseball season, and Randy is in his own classroom, I have been thinking about our purpose in our local community. We have struggled a long time to get the point where we are right now, with me at home with the kids, and Randy, a teacher. And much of the time we lost focus on the reason for that. We wanted the stability of a regular paycheck, the schedule that allows for great family times, and to be involved with youth, as Randy is so gifted in this area. Teaching was a very natural fit. However, in the last few months, I have seen so plainly how teaching history is simply a means to an end, not the end in itself. It is the cover for getting Randy in the schools and allowing him to impact students with the love of God, when so many of them need it the most. The things that are dealt with in the school he teaches in is incredible. In the last month, an abortion and the death of a newborn, have been things that Randy has brought home to us. He is not only a teacher, but a friend, and advisor, and a confidante to these kids. And with more time, I see us all, as a family, becoming more and more involved in this ministry. With baseball season here, we are meeting some of these kids, and they are getting to know us. If our desire is to show them love, we (especially me) need to focus and plan for that end.
What that looks like in the future, I don't know. Maybe it means more kids staying with us, maybe more dinners, more phone calls...I don't know. But I want to be open to whatever God has for us. I want to be prepared to offer our family as a place of acceptance, love and truth, as a place of refuge from the world, not only for my own kids, but for any who need it. My home is not ready for that right now. I have a lot a work to do, and I am behind. I pray that God will give me the discipline to be ready for those occasions, so that I can be Mary, not Martha....
But these days, especially as it is baseball season, and Randy is in his own classroom, I have been thinking about our purpose in our local community. We have struggled a long time to get the point where we are right now, with me at home with the kids, and Randy, a teacher. And much of the time we lost focus on the reason for that. We wanted the stability of a regular paycheck, the schedule that allows for great family times, and to be involved with youth, as Randy is so gifted in this area. Teaching was a very natural fit. However, in the last few months, I have seen so plainly how teaching history is simply a means to an end, not the end in itself. It is the cover for getting Randy in the schools and allowing him to impact students with the love of God, when so many of them need it the most. The things that are dealt with in the school he teaches in is incredible. In the last month, an abortion and the death of a newborn, have been things that Randy has brought home to us. He is not only a teacher, but a friend, and advisor, and a confidante to these kids. And with more time, I see us all, as a family, becoming more and more involved in this ministry. With baseball season here, we are meeting some of these kids, and they are getting to know us. If our desire is to show them love, we (especially me) need to focus and plan for that end.
What that looks like in the future, I don't know. Maybe it means more kids staying with us, maybe more dinners, more phone calls...I don't know. But I want to be open to whatever God has for us. I want to be prepared to offer our family as a place of acceptance, love and truth, as a place of refuge from the world, not only for my own kids, but for any who need it. My home is not ready for that right now. I have a lot a work to do, and I am behind. I pray that God will give me the discipline to be ready for those occasions, so that I can be Mary, not Martha....
Concert with the kids
Last night I took the kids to Seattle to go see the Rock and Worship Roadshow. It was a concert with Mercy Me, Jeremy Camp, Hawk Nelson, Tenth Avenue North and Addison Road. I had not been to a concert since I was pregnant with Josiah, and the kids had never been to a concert. It was quite an ordeal, as the kids usually go to bed at 7:30-8 but the concert didn't start until 7. We knew it would be a late night, but I didn't realize how much the kids would be affected. We didn't get home until about 11:30. Thankfully, the kids slept on the way home.
Noelle fell asleep on the way to the concert, no problem. Until we were a few blocks from the concert and I realized that she had had an accident in there sleep. I don't bring changes of clothes for them anymore...though maybe I should. Be had brought pajamas to change into after the concert, so the kids could go to sleep on the way home though. But Noelle's were too cold, and rather loud, so she put her sister's pajama pants on and off we went.
The concert was great. It was fun to watch the kids dancing, yelling and really enjoying themselves. Rayana got tired very early, and just couldn't stay awake for at least half the concert. It seemed a bit unusual, because usually, she is the party animal and can stay awake for days. Then when I got her up this morning, I realized she was sick and had a fever! The poor girl...sleeping through a concert!
Noelle was very good, I had fun sitting by her, and loving on her while she daydreamed and watched the lights. Josiah looked bored out of his mind. He was also extremely tired and started to nod off a few times. But when Mercy Me played "Imagine", he was wide awake and singing along. On the way back to the car, he kept talking about how great the whole thing was and how much he loved it. I guess his expression is not necessarily an indication of what is going on in his head.
The best part for me, was watching my kids practice what we have been trying to teach them. Before we walked in, I overheard Josiah telling his sisters that is would be very crowded and they needed to listen to me, stay close, and hold his hand so they wouldn't get lost. So they did. They obeyed perfectly, held each other hands (even though it has to be very uncool when you are 10 to hold your sister's hand), and cooperated fully. They were considerate of the people sitting around us and thoroughly enjoyed themselves and the concert. I was full of joy!
The concert was impressive. I have kind of avoided concerts, in part because of the cost, and in part because of the cost (out of our pocket!). This was different. We would not have gone if it was more than $10. In fact, all night I was waiting for the catch....like we would have to pay another $20 each or stay and pick up every bit of trash before we could leave. Instead, the artists asked that the money go the a few charity causes that were at the event. I believe God was honored by that philosophy. The focus was on worshipping God and using what he has blessed us with to bless others. It was right. I was excited to be a part of it.
Worshipping with your kids has got to be the best thing in the world. And to see their excitement over a new CD is great. I know they have the best in that CD. Good intentions, great words and a heart for God that is demonstrated over and over. I love that this CD will take us back to that place, and to those memories.
Noelle fell asleep on the way to the concert, no problem. Until we were a few blocks from the concert and I realized that she had had an accident in there sleep. I don't bring changes of clothes for them anymore...though maybe I should. Be had brought pajamas to change into after the concert, so the kids could go to sleep on the way home though. But Noelle's were too cold, and rather loud, so she put her sister's pajama pants on and off we went.
The concert was great. It was fun to watch the kids dancing, yelling and really enjoying themselves. Rayana got tired very early, and just couldn't stay awake for at least half the concert. It seemed a bit unusual, because usually, she is the party animal and can stay awake for days. Then when I got her up this morning, I realized she was sick and had a fever! The poor girl...sleeping through a concert!
Noelle was very good, I had fun sitting by her, and loving on her while she daydreamed and watched the lights. Josiah looked bored out of his mind. He was also extremely tired and started to nod off a few times. But when Mercy Me played "Imagine", he was wide awake and singing along. On the way back to the car, he kept talking about how great the whole thing was and how much he loved it. I guess his expression is not necessarily an indication of what is going on in his head.
The best part for me, was watching my kids practice what we have been trying to teach them. Before we walked in, I overheard Josiah telling his sisters that is would be very crowded and they needed to listen to me, stay close, and hold his hand so they wouldn't get lost. So they did. They obeyed perfectly, held each other hands (even though it has to be very uncool when you are 10 to hold your sister's hand), and cooperated fully. They were considerate of the people sitting around us and thoroughly enjoyed themselves and the concert. I was full of joy!
The concert was impressive. I have kind of avoided concerts, in part because of the cost, and in part because of the cost (out of our pocket!). This was different. We would not have gone if it was more than $10. In fact, all night I was waiting for the catch....like we would have to pay another $20 each or stay and pick up every bit of trash before we could leave. Instead, the artists asked that the money go the a few charity causes that were at the event. I believe God was honored by that philosophy. The focus was on worshipping God and using what he has blessed us with to bless others. It was right. I was excited to be a part of it.
Worshipping with your kids has got to be the best thing in the world. And to see their excitement over a new CD is great. I know they have the best in that CD. Good intentions, great words and a heart for God that is demonstrated over and over. I love that this CD will take us back to that place, and to those memories.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)